What's happening now??

Our weekend was okay. Got a lot of house cleaning and organizing done.
Church was good. Our Pastor has been on fire lately. Not to say he was not before, he has just been hitting home lately.
Monday was not so good for me. Not sure what is wrong, maybe it's the cold I am getting? I felt so out of control of everything. Emily must of been able to feel it too. It seemed like she cried all day. Thomas was out of sorts too. Keith came home late and did not call me to let me know. I pretty much lost it. Emily was crying, I was crying and poor Thomas was saying, "no crying, it's okay" over and over. Looking back I know what happened. I did not talk to God. I tried to handle it by myself. It was overwhelming.
Sometimes I wonder if it's the devil using postpartum to get at me?
With Thomas it did not hit me until I stopped nursing him, but with Miss Emmy, I have felt weird, not myself and well, pretty much incompetent.
Tuesday was a little better. We were late to Bible study, Thomas was still not himself, wonder if he's getting to cold too? He did not want to go. But once we were there, he was okay. I went to the Dr. To see if there might be something physically wrong with little Miss. Monday night was LONG!! I could not make her happy to save my life. I felt so bad, like a failure. I felt like I was not fit to be her Mom and I wanted to give up on everything. The anger was so overwhelming, I thought I was going to explode! Keith is such a wonderful man. I don't know why God blessed me with him. Even though he had to be up early, he took over with Emily and he did a WONDERFUL job. How?? Because he is a WONDERFUL Papa. Well, back to the Dr. He told me she is fine. There is nothing wrong with her. She is growing fine, 12lbs & 7oz, little chunk. Her little body is healthy. He thinks she is just SUPER sensitive. And not colicky. Maybe it's my fault, because I had a bad day Monday and she picked up on it and that was what was wrong? Dr. Said that colic goes away after 2 months. I don't know. He suggested we give her a bath early and put her down to bed earlier. So last night we gave it a shot. I felt bad at first because she just laid in her bassinet, staring. Soon after she slept, but not sound. Every time the pacifier fell out, she woke up crying. By 10pm I felt like my face was going to explode from my cold. I fell asleep and Super Papa took over. He said he held her and rocked her and put her in the crib. She woke up this morning at her regular time and all was well. Maybe I should put her in her crib at night. I know she'll be fine, but I am not sure if I am ready to let my baby grow up. I know she's only 3 months, but I miss having my babies inside me and with me at all times. I felt that I could be better and protect them when they are inside. I think it's a control thing.
As for my job. It's a long and complicated story if you don't know. Maybe one day I'll write a book. For now I am still waiting for them to reinstate me. I spoke with my Lawyer this morning. He's waiting for the information. He did not want to answer my question until he has all the detail from them.
I have been having nightmares that they change their minds about giving me back my job. I know God is in control. I know He knows what He's doing and He doesn't need my help. I feel like I am in limbo. Keith tells me not to worry. But I do. God provides for our needs every month. He works miracles in our check book. But I still have a hard time letting go. I have always been a worrier. I always worry about the future. It's my biggest down fall.
Well, I feel better after talking, well, writing it all out. It's almost like talking to your friends on the phone without the big long distance charges!
Have a Blessed Day!

Oh my!! TGIF?

Some people have no respect!
Keith called me this morning @ 7 am.
He tells me to call the police, someone broke into our car.
This person took all the CD's in the car, okay...Makes sense. Break into a car..Steal CD's.
That was all that has a resale value.
But this poo poo head took T & E Diaper bag. I had just re-stocked it with diapers, wipes, baby products, sippy cup, bottle and Thomas snacks.
To me that is low. What on earth is this person going to do with T & E's Diaper Bag?? Put the 40 CD's they just stole????
The guy is a real genius..They missed 4 other new CD's in the door and Thankfully they didn't take the car seats.
It just really irritates me.
However, today was a good day. We had a play date with a lady from bible study & MOPS. She is a neat lady.
I think she'll teach me a lot and I think that God sent her to me just at the right time.
Thomas had a blast! He got to play with other kids and outside in the dirt. He even brought some dirt home with him.(Okay the dirt was in his hair & ears, but he's a little boy, All boy.)
Last night poor Emily was crying until 2 am. She was REALLY mad!! Poor baby. Poor Mama & poor Papa. We took turns with her. Papa is now back on Mama's good side with all the help he gave me last night. I thought I was going to loose my mind. I was ready to auction her on eBay!
Not really. But when she throws her fits it breaks your heart.
I looked online to see if their was anything else we could do, there was this CD for like 20 buck, guarantees to help colicky babies to fall asleep in 5 -10 minutes. So I down load the sample, played it 10 times. Let just say all I wanted to buy was more Tylenol and not that weird CD.
Well, I praise God that all I lost were CD's and no one was hurt.

Wild Wednesday

I think this Blog thing is going to be very therapeutic.
It's funny how, when I get really mad, I clean. Last night Keith was a poop poop head and I was super mad with him. So this morning I was on a mission. I took all the stuff from T & E's room that was not theirs, their papa's and boxed it up. I rearranged the entire room. Vacuumed and dusted.
I am so going to feel it in the morning!!
Thomas was very excited to see his new room. But not so happy about Emily sleeping in his old crib. He did the same thing when Emily first rode in the stroller.
It's funny how he wants something that he has not used in so long. But what is even funnier is that I explain it and redirect him and his little fit is over and he's fine.
Today Emily rolled from her back to her side. Almost to her tummy. She's a rolly pollie baby!!! :)
Oh, Oprah today!!! Good, but what does she know about raising children? I liked the discussion, but I wonder how you can comment on something you have no experience in or degree in????? Also those people NEED JESUS!!!
Emily did not do so bad tonight. Maybe Sunday is the day! :)
Thomas was a little scared to sleep in his room. I moved his bed to the other side. He'll get used to it I am sure. Funny how a little thing like that made it like he was not in his own room.
Oh, I love my husband!! However:
Men really are a separate species from women!
That is all I will say about that!

My week so far

I would like it say that is has been one of those days. But every day is one of those days.
First I get up 7 ish. Keith (Papa) brings in a cup of milk for Bubba T (Thomas). I then feed Emily and then shortly I am joined, if he has not already climbed into bed with me some time in the middle of the night by Bubba T. So every body is having their morning milk. Then I turn on the TV, Noggin and GMA, switching back and forth.
Meanwhile it is time to change everyone's diapers. Papa kisses everyone bye for the day.
I love my life & my children. So don't take this the wrong way, but let me say that I hate to be touched. Thomas on the other hand loves to touch me. Ever since he was a tiny little baby. He always rubbed his little hand on me. When he drinks milk, juice, water , or any liquid at all, he must touch me and rub me. Mostly the arm. When he is tired his hand moves into my shirt sleeve and some how into my armpit or the most sensitive (and fat) part of my arm and then he pinches me. He doesn't know that it hurts, it's just his "comfort" thing.
So in the morning, all with bed head, picture me, nursing Emily and Thomas at my side drinking milk and rubbing me.
Now that I have explained the rubbing thing. I'll finish my day.
After milk & diaper duty every one gets dressed. Emily goes back to sleep. I make breakfast for Thomas, and I run and jump, quick like a bunny, into the shower. By the time I am done, Thomas has checked on me twice and is waiting for his tooth brush. We brush together.
By 9 am on every other Monday and every Tuesday we are out the door. Monday is MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers)
Tuesday is CBS (Community Bible Study) We are studying the book of Luke.
Thomas loves to play with all his little friends.
By 11:30 were all back on the car, by the first light Thomas is asleep. Emily is usually crying. She does not like to travel, totally opposite from her brother.
At home I put Thomas in his big boy bed for his nap.
Then feed Emily.
Then myself.
finally at about 1pm Emily falls asleep.
By 1:30, sometimes 2 pm Thomas wakes up. That gives me a 1/2 to 1 hour window to read email, go to the bathroom by myself, do dishes, pay bills, get a glass of water, look for what I lost that morning and breath.
Thomas gets to watch one movie after nap time. Veggie Tales, The Wiggles, Baby Praise or Baby Einstein. He also gets to eat a snack with his movie.
By the time the movie is over, Emily is awake and on a good day we go out back to play.
By 3:30 we are back in the house to start dinner. Yes I know that it's early, but we like to eat by 6. And yes it does take me that long to make dinner. With a million interruptions, it takes almost an hour to boil water, that is on a good day.
I listen to Oprah while doing my stuff. Poor Thomas is going to think that Oprah is apart of our family. He sees her everyday.
By 5:30 Everyone is hungry and crying. I start to feed Emily and count down until Papa comes home. He is usually home by 6. We eat, Emily willing, me too.
6:30 to 7pm is when the fun begins. Colic!
Oh, that is just gas, you might be thinking, well, let me tell you, if it is my poor baby should have exploded weeks ago.
She starts to cry, scream, turn red in the face, the tears run, the back arches, the fists clench and she pushes you away from her. Then her little voice starts to horse as she cries. My heart breaks. I have and still continue to try Gripe Water, Colic Tablets, all the clamming teas in Whole Foods, Tylenol, Beer (I drank it, not her) I cut out all caffeine, dairy and gassy veggies. Yet she cries EVERY night at the same time.
Keith & I take shifts. Singing, bouncing, walking , rocking, talking and swaying to calm her. Meantime, one of us gets Thomas in the bath. Once he is in the tub we put Emily in her little tub. She really likes her warm bath. She's quiet. :)
It lasts about 10 minutes. Then she is ready to get out. It's about 8-8:30 by now and my head is pounding.
Keith & I take turns and we read a couple books each with Thomas, and say prayers and he goes to bed in the big boy bed. (Remember when he was just a tiny little guy, he's growing up so fast.)
Keith gets Emily duty while I take a nice hot & long shower. After Emily eats and then between 10 and 11 pm she stops and goes to sleep until 7 ish the next morning.
So that was the last two days. Hope you are looking forward to the other five!! I know I am. This Colic is supposed to stop at 3 or 4 months. So I am counting down the days. She's 11 weeks now by Sunday she'll be 12 wks and maybe she'll stop, and if not only 4 more to go! :-)
If you know of any thing that I have not tried, I am open to suggestions.

Okay!

I guess if everyone else is doing it, I'll give it a try.
I don't have a bunch of time lately. Having 2 kids is a lot more work than I thought it would be. Thomas was and still is so easy, but he's a boy. I should have known that Keith was right, girls are complicated. Like mother, like daughter! But Emily really is a joy.
I truly am blessed. I have 2 beautiful children and a loving husband. God is good, and I don't deserve it.

Funny how things are. I'll have to fill you all in later. Nap time is over.