Children are a blessing, teenagers are a PAIN

I don't know why, but today I am blue. Okay, every day I am blue lately. Today's reason is:
Kevin steals things. Then lies about it.
Today, Keith woke up to take out the trash cans and noticed the door from the kitchen to the garage and door from the garage to the outside was wide open. Mind you it is about 7 am.
Preface:
Kevin decide yesterday when thing came to a head that his life is "sh*t". How does a 12 year old know this? He, I think, is too young to know just how "sh*tty" life can be.
Life is not "sh*tty", things in life can be at times. I can list those things for you right now:
children being hurt/abused & murdered daily is
Longing to tuck in you babies at night but you have to work is
Juggling money around and going without is
Working Saturdays to make ends meet is
Wondering from day to day how things are going to get done is
Constantly worrying when you wake up each day if your 12 year ran away is
Feeling blue and sad for no reason at all is
That is my short list of "sh*tty" things.
That kid has everything a normal kid his age could want. He complains about his clothes. He picks out the rattyest t-shirts to wear and we are reminding him that those shirts are fine for home, but not in public. We told him if he did not comb his hair, he would need to get it cut. He did not comb his hair, so we took him to the barber. We let him decide how he wanted it cut.
My sister let him write down some music he would like and she listened to it before she was going to put it on a CD for him. EVERY song had cussing or inappropriate subject manner.
Nothing he picked would a 12 year old pick out.
So why is Kevins life so poopie??? Beats me. He can't even tell me. All day today he has been a cocky little poo poo head.

Back to today:
So, ya, Kevin ran off this morning. He wore 2 shirts, and a sweat shirt. Keith found him right away and spoke with the the parents of the other kid. Who by the way were going to call CPS on him for the load of poo poo he was feeding them. Keith brought him home and on he car ride he told Keith that he has friends that we don't know about and he'll go there next time.
So, when I woke up and discovered that all this was going on, I was pretty P.O.ed. rightfully, I think. After the last time he took off, we had a chat and he promised he would never do it again. Funny thing about teenagers. They can promise you and they can break their promise and it is ok in their eyes. God forbid I do that. If I do, he tells me. When I remind him, the response I get is 'Oh'. Well, "oh" this: there is not going to be a next time. He takes off, I'll call in a missing persons report and let the police deal with it. If he leaves and just thinks he can wander back when ever he pleases, I have another thing coming. I am not going to put myself, T, E or W through that.
I know there is a good kid in that boy. My fear is that if that poo poo kid continues and refuses to change he'll spend the rest of his life in jail. That good kid like Sunday school & church and family game night. He says please & thank you and does his chore without being reminded. I know he is a good kid. I have seen that good kid. I love that kid.

He's draining me. I already feel or in my case, don't feel very close to God right know. I feel like auto pilot has taken over. I don't need this and it is not fair to all the other kids.

Why does he want to be involved in church if he does things like steal & lie & run away. Why? It makes no sense to want to be apart of something one day a week and live a totally separate life the other 6 days.
It is sad because he does not ever see it. He is working so hard to to live this double life. It has got to be taxing on him. I know it is taxing on the rest of the family. So what now?!?!

Lord, Take this boy in your arms and hold him safely. Help him. Please. Save him before it is too late.

Finally an update

Okay, so it has been almost a month and all my people, those who read my blog, I will be or have seen over the Christmas season. So I guess I am updating it for me to look back on.

Well, X-mas came and went. It was nice. All the family was glad to see the babies and meet the boys. God blessed us with lots of toys. Thanks! Now I will be praying for batteries for the toys and then cotton balls to quite the toys. Yes, I know that it does not make sense, so here is a brief explanation: boys got CD players. Great! It keeps them quite, bad they eat batteries. T & E got lots of "educational" AKA noisy toys. I have found this little trick. Take 1 or more cotton balls, depending on the loudness factor, tape it with packing tape over the speaker of the toy. And then you have one less loud toy, but the noise is still audible to the little ones. The trick is to do it early and they will never know that the toy was a 400 decimal toy, they will think the cotton is just part of the toy. Please note that this trick does not work well on Husbands and the mouths of children. ;) Also drums for toddles: WHAT WERE YOU THINKING KEITH!!! There is not enough cotton in the world.
We took the new van on our trip. Sure was nice to have room for everyone and their stuff. Bonus was not having to worry about car trouble.
On the 19th we turned in the paper work for guardianship, by the 23rd we had the papers back granting us temporary g-ship. Pray foe us on the 19th of Jan. We have the first court date to get the temporary g-ship worked out. Then Feb 27th is the date we go to permanent g-ship. Please pray that this will be smooth and that SHE will not show up. Also that God will provide for the extra fees that are/have been encoring.

Feb 6, I start a temporary new job. : Hopefully more $$ and it will be a break.

T is a talking little guy. Every day that kid says something new.
E is growing like a weed. She'll be 11 months at the end of this month. We are working on weaning. I stopped pumping, so she will be forced to take a bottle. I enjoy our time together, but I need to let go. Also she is now taking it. She'll lift my shirt at night or in the bath, she make a break for it and try to sneak a swig. I know TMI, but really it makes me laugh. And lately that is hard to do.
W is still adjusting. He is trying.
K is 12, need I say more. Pray for him, he is having trouble letting go of old habits, lying & 5 finger discount. The worst, for him, but not for us, is his always gets caught. Maybe he'll learn sooner that later. It is starting to affect the entire family. More so now, then ever. The last few days have been bad. And he has been very bold.

Keith is ok. K is wearing him.
Keith wants to have a baby, well, I'll tell you what I told him, wanting and need are WAY 2 different things. Not to mention, GOD is in control, not us. Oh, and God, I am only 30, I still have like 6 or 7 more good breading years left in me.
Sure in a perfect world I would be barefoot and prego again. But I don't live there, and if you do, great, send me a post card. We can barely handle our 2 babies and 2 boys let alone another baby. So in walks the contraceptive topic, the pill or not the pill, or whatever BC method you can think of. A: trust God and know that he's in control. B: Get on the pill and spend $$ we don't have. Or C: do what we do now, nothing, who has time for S*X when you have 4 kids in your house!?!?! Oh, and 2 of them think your big king size bed is theirs! Please feel feel to vote at the end of the blog, J/K!
A & C sound good to me.

As for me. I feel a little better. I went last Tues for 6 hours and got an iron transfusion and B12 shot. Still, I don't feel 100% . I go back next month to see if it worked.
I feel disconnected from the world. From my honey, from my kids and from God. I know that He's there, but having trouble "feeling" it. Does that make sense? I miss all the fun stuff my friends are doing. It seems like I can't get it together. Either some on is grounded, or sick or I have to work.
Well, I have spent way too much time whining. I have to go back to work. Your tax $$ at work now!
bye for now
Mandy

Update:
Turkey was great! I made a great dinner, if I dare say so. Got to love the oven bags!!
The boys are good. The babies are good.
Keith is good.
I am good.
Keith gave me my xmas present early: last Friday we up-graded our little car to a new van!! Sad to say that the van is my dream car and that I like it a lot. I never thought that I would find such joy in a car. But I do. It sure is nice!
Keith did very good this Christmas.
Work is okay. I'll be in training next week! YAY! I only had to wait like a year!
Also, I am waiting on a call for a management position. They should call me any day now for next season. :)
Some disturbing information: people have web sites that check out who's reading their blog. A little scary. I try to do most of my reading at home. Yeah, like that is going to happen. So I spend my breaks & lunches and after work time at work reading & posting. So apparently some people who I have been being nosy and reading their blogs have seem to taken offence to the fact that when they look at who is reading their blog, it just happens to come up that it is the government facility that I collect a check from, AKA where I work. Sorry! I did not mean to scare anyone. Not like I have any power anyway, I am just a peon. Won't be reading their blogs at work any more.
Planning a nice weekend. Next two Saturdays is overtime. $$$ for Christmas!!

good night & God Bless

;)